mosaic pieces of life

2011-06-14T01:24:00.002+07:00

jealousy kills. and i'm a victim.

2010-10-11T13:54:00.001+07:00

Tell me about it here:

past three hours

2010-07-29T19:53:00.005+07:00

In the past one hundred and eighty minutes I've been put in a situation where:

I had two people strangling me in the neck asking food where the chef have not finished cooking yet and received no gratitude from the effort
I am stuck in a pillar between two deep valley and death awaits shall I fall
I was visited by a fallen angel whom is drawing grey in my black
I am worried sick about a lamb guided into a river to fulfill her thirst and yet she try to drown herself in the river
I have to reclaim a land without severing diplomatic tie with the landlord
I am expected to keep the candle lit when the wind blows strongly

Angel, descend from above. Salvage my remains.

a nightful of thoughts.

2010-01-14T01:12:00.002+07:00

they say that the only time that we will stop learning is only when we die.

life itself is a book. the best book written ever.

when you have finished a chapter of it, you will be looking forward for another chapter.

and in no time, you will realize that it's already the end of the book.

funnily, we always think that our mundane routine is actually a chapter of the book.

let's say when we have graduated from college, got a new job or getting married, we always thought that it is the mark of a new page in our book. however, it is actually every second, every minute and every hours that we live that construct a new page in our book.

cherish every moment we lived, because we often realizes that a moment is precious only when it is gone. and be a visioner, tomorrow must be better than yesterday.

ikhlas, dan hidup akan jadi jauh lebih mudah.

that's a phrase that I learnt a few days back. it stuck in my head. because apparently, accepting some facts seems easier said than be done. but it's been proven that after accepting that fact, the worry is gone and everything seems lighter. (;

well, this post is actually dedicated to Faiezah who's having her 19th Birthday today. Girl, I know you've been through hard time. But thanks to you, I've learnt a lot of invaluable lessons, notably the one when we came half an hour late to school. Enjoy your birthday, and don't forget to thank your parents, the one that have raised you all this while. I'm sorry I can't be in Singapore today, but I hope it will still be a blast. (:

PS: if you want any treat, ask from Fiqah, okay?

a candle, a star and a sun.

2009-12-21T23:29:00.002+07:00

A candle, a star and a sun.

A candle can light up any darkness.

However, to light up the darkness, it melts.

Furthermore, a candle has limits to what it can light up to.

A candle, a star and a sun.

A star can light up any darkness.

However, it can only light up the darkness only at night.

Its beauty dazzles people on earth where they sees it from afar.

Its mundane surface bores people when they sees it up close.

A candle, a star and a sun.

A sun can light up any darkness.

A sun shines from a far because it doesn't want the life on earth to burn.

A sun shines from near because it doesn't want the life on earth to froze.

A sun shines marks the life on earth to begin.

A sun shines doesn't hurt the sun itself.

A sun shines all part of the earth proportionately.

A sun is a compliment to people suffering from flood.

A sun is a complaint to people suffering from drought.

There's no person on earth that disagrees the beauty of the sunrise and the sunset.

There's no person on earth that disagrees the scorch of the sun at it's highest.

A candle, a star and a sun.

So, which one are you?

Half-Empty, Half-Full Theory

2009-11-24T23:56:00.003+07:00

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself,and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.

Konsep mengubah dunia: Mulai dari yang kecil, Mulai dari diri sendiri dan Mulai dari sekarang juga.

Seseorang yang sudah terlalu banyak menerima pemberian (kebaikan) kepada orang lain, akan sulit untuk menegur si pemberi tersebut ketika yang bersangkutan melakukan kesalahan.

Kehidupan ini ibarat jalan satu arah. Seberapa banyak pun perubahan rute yang Anda tempuh, tidak satu pun akan membawa Anda kembali. Begitu Anda mengetahui dan menerima hal itu, kehidupan akan tampak menjadi jauh lebih sederhana.

Bayi tidak selamanya minum ASI, dia akan berkembang makan bubur, nasi, dan makanan keras lainnya. Demikian pula manusia, setiap individu yang mandiri, ia tidak akan puas dengan tantangan pekerjaan yang biasa-biasa saja. Semakin hari semakin tumbuh baik dari segi kompetensi maupun untuk kerjanya.

Tidak ada masalah yang terlalu besar untuk dihadapi, tidak ada langkah yang terlalu panjang untuk dijalani, dan tidak ada orang yang terlalu sulit untuk dihadapi ketika kita mampu menyikapi setiap peristiwa yang terjadi dengan hati yang jernih dan kepala dingin.

"Tantangan dan masalah merupakan tanda bahwa kita masih hidup." demikian seorang filsuf pernah bertutur. Jika dicermati lebih jauh memang tidak satu tempat pun di dunia ini yang terbebas dari tantangan. Tantangan sesungguhnya membuat seseorang semakin matang dan dewasa dalam perkembangan mental. Tantangan yang di 'LAKONI' dengan baik akan memberikan pembelajaran yang paling berharga bagi kehidupan seseorang.

Ketika kita memandang permasalahan dan beban itu berasal dari diri kita, justru pada saat itu sebenarnya kitalah yang sedang bermasalah.

Ciri-ciri tim yang produktif diantaranya adalah memiliki tujuan yang jelas, ada pembagian tugas dan tanggung jawab, saling mempercayai satu dengan yang lain, serta memiliki aturan dan disiplin kerja.

Tanggung jawab utama seorang pemimpin tim adalah mendefinisikan realita. Tanggung jawab terakhirnya adalah mengucapkan terima kasih. Diantara keduanya, sang pemimpin harus menjadi pelayan dan seorang yang berhutang. Itulah rangkuman kemajuan dari seorang pemimpin berseni.

Jika seseorang terpanggil menjadi tukang sapu jalan, hendaklah ia menyapu jalan sebagaimana Michael Angelo melukis atau Beethoven menciptakan musik atau Shakespeare menulis puisi. Hendaknya ia menyapu jalan dengan sangat baik sehingga segenap isi surga dan bumi serentak menghentikan kegiatan mereka dan berkata, di sini tinggal seorang penyapu jalan yang agung yang menjalankan tugasnya dengan sangat baik.

Kesejahteraan adalah gagasan, diperlukan langkah nyata untuk mewujudkannya. Kesejahteraan adalah tunas harapan, diperlukan optimisme untuk menumbuhkannya. Kesejahteraan adalah usaha, diperlukan keteguhan hati untuk mencapainya.

Perusahaan besar itu ibarat dinosaurus. Ketika berjalan semua binatang takut kepadanya, namun pada kenyataannya dinosaurus bukan punah karena berkelahi dengan dinosaurus lain. Namun, dinosaurus lupa kakinya kecil sehingga tidak dapat melihat kuman, kecoa, dan binatang-binatang kecil yang ada disekitar telapak kakinya. Inilah awal kepunahan dinosaurus.

Karakter yang Anda bentuk pada masa kuliah adalah karakter yang akan Anda bawa nanti seumur hidup.

Jika kami adalah singa, maka kalian adalah anak singa yang suatu saat harus siap memimpin kawanannya sendiri.

Berusaha untuk mengerti baru dimengerti.

Quotes of the day.

Inspired by a book. Feel free to be inspired.

birthday?

2009-11-21T06:43:00.001+07:00

another birthday wishes, diaz?
I guess you had enough already.

I guess, like what bg Adrin said, "with less time left, one would become wiser."
So, have I been wiser as I age?

Karim Benzema scooped the golden boots for france's super league at the age of 18.
Cristiano Ronaldo moved to Theatre of Dreams at the age of 18 too.
Chris Brown made his debut album that topped the chart at the age of 18.
Faizal Isa enters the Singapore Idol close to the age of 18.
John Taylor Hammons became a Mayor for Okla Town at the age of 18.
My Grandfather was fighting against the Japanese and the Dutch at the age of 18.
So, what have I done at the age of 18?

Everyone is born to make a difference in this world. Have I made that difference? If I had, what difference had I made? Is it for the better of the world, or did I just make the world a living hell?

People says that the reason why 18 is the legal age is because by 18 years old, a person's character have already been created and they are able to make wise decisions. Have I created that character? If I had, what have I become? A protagonist? or another antagonist?

People says that by 18 years old, you are able to decide where your life would lead to. Was being a physician my decision? Have I really been wanting to become a physician?

This whole week..
no, whole month...
no, whole year....
no, my lifetime, I have learnt that there is this thing that cannot be changed. That thing is called fate.

Al-Baqarah 216: "you may hate a thing although it is good for you, and love a thing although it is bad for you. God knows, but you do not know.”

Being born to demanding parents,
Wasn't taught how to speak acehnese,
Bullied in school,
Enters a low-profiled secondary school,
Accepted at Millenia Institute
Leaving NYP,
entering FKUI,
Didn't enter Senat FKUI,
Failed TBM's interview,
Failed neuroscience,
Lost STUNICA's campaign,
Didn't get PSDM in FSI,
Didn't ask a girl out.
Those were just a few of my chief complaints that I would make to God.

However, I realized, because of those, I am actually in a much better position for myself.

By being born to cold-hand parents, they taught me that "If they can do it, why can't you?". It gives a simple motivation for me to become a successful person in the future.

By not taught Acehnese, I became more attached to my own culture. It paced me to become active speaker now, rather than passive ones that just comprehend the language but is not able to return the words.

By being bullied in primary school, it gives me a strong sense of justice. They are the ones that made me strife to be a person that aims to wipe out the shame of the world - poverty, crimes and such. Not only that, it taught me empathy since childhood. It taught me that, being bullied is unpleasant, and I shouldn't do the same to others. It taught me kindness by learning the opposite.

I aimed to enter Raffles Institution, Hwa Chong Institution and Anglo-Chinese Secondary school. But in the end, I entered a small secondary school that is located in a neighbourhood area called Fuchun. Fuchun Secondary School was a school that had her glory in the 90s but was at the bottom of the fortune wheel when I entered. In that school, I met various people. Notably Suren & Thura. Two of the most hillarious and interesting people I've ever met. They taught me a lot of lesson of life. They taught me that life shouldn't be taken so seriously, have some fun in it. They taught me that even people who were given high ranks in the school can be suspended from the school for days (Compare it to Indonesia's current high officials, they ended up in jail). They also taught me that, I decide where I wanna go in life and what kind of person do I want to be. Another notable people that inspires me here are: Angus Jeffrey Evans --> a complete leader, Adam Khoo --> a motivator, Faizal Isa --> a dreamer. Jeffrey was the head of the student council on his fourth year where he also topped the national exam for the school and restored the dignity of the school. Adam Khoo, he emphasized to me that failure is just a delayed success. Faizal Isa, he dreamt of becoming a Singapore Idol, and although there are brick walls on his way, he just charged in there and tried to strive for his dream. Not forgetting to mention that there is a special teacher that NEVER give up for her students: Madam Hamidah. If I were to go to other secondary schools, I don't think I would have learnt this much.

Waiting for my exam result, I entered Millenia Institute for PAE programme. I was hugely disappointed because I can't enter any JC. and I didn't get Science programme in MI. However, it turned out that my best friends are found here. Ezah and Fiqah. Within that 8 weeks, we had a roller-coaster ride of tertiary education. I believe I discovered the meaning of [i]Tafahum[/i] here. (:

Graduated from FCSS, I entered NYP because of a close margin of L1R5 GCE 'O' Level with JC. In NYP, I had suited myself well with my classmate, even I got myself leading the whole class of MB0805 to achieve total camaraderie. "I think, because of you we are united. Don't go.", I remembered that line when I told them that I'm leaving NYP. Till today, they claimed to be the best class of MB08. However, if I have not leave NYP, it will affect the rest of my future, especially FKUI.

Entering FKUI wasn't my choice. I was somehow brainwashed by my ambitious father about the opportunity of being a doctor. If I hadn't been brainwashed, I don't think that I can write this much on the blog post.

When I entered FKUI, I was impressed by Departemen Kajian Strategis, on their mass communication and mobilization skill. I aimed to enter that department as soon as I passed my mabim. But, on a very sunny day, Defit, Ikhsan, Indy and Bg Faraby told me "Diaz, why don't you give a try to enter BPM?". And you know the rest of the story. (:

TBM was the next big thing on my target list. I want that green vest that says "MEDIS" on its back. I was so confident that I can get it, but I failed the second interview. From that failure, a lot of lesson was learnt there - the need of self-discovery. Thanks to TBM, I am more aware of people around me now.

Neuroscience wasn't just a pushover as I thought it would be. Failing that module made me realize my true reason to be in FKUI: academic. I was so depressed when I was told that I only need "0.4" to pass that module. I even tried to fight for that 0.4 in this semester although it doesn't give a promising outcome. On the other hand, this failure became an insane motivation for me. Recently dr Priyo (Pemimpin Besar IDI), he told me "Ketika saya tingkat I, saya menjabat sebagai wakil ketua BPM. Saya sempat tidak naik tingkat 1. Tapi orang tua saya mengajarkan saya untuk selalu bertanggung jawab terhadap langkah apapun yang saya ambil. Dan karena itu saya ada disini.". Superb.

Congrats Kevin! You lifted the burden off from my shoulder. You took the responsibility of being the head of international class student of FMUI. If I had won, I have to explain to them my academic flaw. You also gave me the opportunity to explore more of myself by joining various activities in the regulars. Lead well, and think about your followers first then yourself. (:

PSDM. A regeneration department in FSI. Filled with highly competent people that will face the new student and mold them into professionals. I realized of my incompetency and thanked God that I didn't enter that department so that I can contribute more of backstage. (:

Last but not least. I remembered I was chasing after a classmate of mine. And I was outrunned by another person. I was regretting that to the extent of forgetting about it. And I was thankful that I had completely forgotten about it. If not, then I wouldn't be able to find a girl that completes my other half. They said that "Mencari semut di seberang lautan, tapi gajah di pelupuk mata tidak terlihat.". I'm so sorry that I made you wait for a year. When your glass is half-full, I promise I'll fill the remaining half. Thank God I found you on this very day. (:

I hope that these mosaics pieces of my life can reshape your mosaics to fit the puzzle of life. Thank you for all your wishes. I hope whatever you wished on me will be granted for you too. (:

P.S: Mum and Dad, family success determine individual's success. I still can see the light at the end of the tunnel for us. (:

the white coats.

2009-11-03T00:46:00.003+07:00

I am writing this entry as I prepare for my exam tomorrow.

I was browsing through facebook, looking at books of faces of my friends. I came to see that there were pictures of my friends and I wearing those labcoats - white ones. Then it came to my thought, will I get the chance of wearing that coat when I leave the college? and what will I do when I get that white coat? will I bring ease or misery towards the people of the world?

I was all blinded by the thoughts of "only people in white coats can save other's life, so let me wear one!". But then, I was reading a story of a 12-year-old boy that silenced the whole audience in UN. It was a truly motivating speech. Then I remembered a catch in Patch Adams where the girl was saying "I want that white coat and get people to call me doctor!" and Hunter was saying, "when you save others, people already calls you a doctor!".

If I were a cartoon character, there would be a light bulb popping out of my head! I have found another phrase that consoles my situation now, "If I don't get a chance to wear white coats and save people, I am still happy if I can improve other's life without wearing that white coat!"

So, to those who are studying till their last drop and nervous of tomorrow's exam: chill, it's not the end of the world. should you pass tomorrow's exam, congratulation! but should you fail, relax, it's not the end of the world, there are still many ways to help people.

sebaik-baik manusia adalah manusia yang bermanfaat bagi orang lain

my little Pensieve

2009-08-29T19:09:00.004+07:00

Sebuah coretan kecil,

Ibu –
“Ma, aku kalau udah besar mau jadi pilot yaaa.”
“Ma, aku takut. Temani aku.”
“Ma, cepetan dong. Bosen. ”
“Ma, aku sudah besar. Sudah bukan anak kecil lagi.”
“Ma, aku minta maaf.”

Surabaya, 1995 – Ada seorang anak kecil. Anak ini sedang duduk di teras sekolahnya. Ia sedang membuka bekal yang di siapkan oleh ibunya sambil memperhatikan teman-temannya yang sibuk bermain, berlari saling mengejar di lapangan penuh debu. Dan seketika, ada kereta api sedang melintas di balik gedung sekolahnya. Anak-anak kecil tersebut berhenti bermain dan mulai berlari ke arah rel dimana kereta itu melintas. Anak kecil tersebut kemudian mengejar teman-temannya untuk memenuhi rasa ingin tahunya. Ia berlari sambil memegang kotak makanannya. Ia ditabrak oleh seorang temannya dari belakang. Makanannya terjatuh. Berserakkan dan berdebu. Anak itu berhenti diam, menatapi makanannya. Anak itu tidak menangis. Ia teringat akan ibunya.

Adik –
“Dek, aku benci sama kamu.”
“Dek, ini punyaku, bukan punyamu.”
“Dek, kita main ini yuk.”
“Dek,coba dengerin cerita ini deh.”
“Sis, I miss you.”

Singapura, 2003 – Ada seorang anak laki-laki. Anak ini baru selesai mengikuti les bahasa dan ilmu pengetahuan. Anak tersebut sedang amat lapar. Ia tidak sabar untuk pulang dan memenuhi kebutuhan fisiknya. Ia kemudian langsung pulang tanpa menghiraukan teman-temannya. Seketika sampai di asramanya, ia kemudian menyantap makanan yang sudah dihidangkan. Teman-temannya masuk ke ruang makan asrama. Ia mendengar percakapan temannya, “Eh, gw kasihan banget tuh ama nabila. Ketinggalan bus. Tapi emang busnya penuh, sih. Apa dia masih nunggu disana ya?”. Anak tersebut kemudian merasa terkejut. Ada rasa sakit di dadanya. Ia berhenti makan. Ia berteriak kepada teman-temannya “Brengsek lo pada! Nggak tau diri! Dia kan cuman anak kecil!”. Ia berlari ke kamarnya sambil meneteskan air mata. Ia teringat akan adiknya.

Friend –
“Hey, what’s your name?”
“Dude, don’t screw around, please!”
“I’ll see you, when I see you!”
“Damn, I miss you!”
“Yes, I will be gone, but I will be back too.”

Singapore, 2004 – Once upon a time, there was a young teenage boy. He had just moved in. He barely knew anything about the new surrounding. He only has one clue: He is in 1E1. He started schooling a week late from his other schoolmates. It was the final day of the orientation programme. He was left out by the whole class because he didn’t know a thing about their class performance. He was then assigned to take care of their belongings while they perform. A boy then came and approach him. “Hey, your name is Diaz, right? Could you take care of my water bottle while I go off to the toilet? Oh, and my name is Sai Thura Aung. You can call me Thura, nice to meet you.”

Teman –
“Ehh, kenalan dong.”
“2008! Bangkit!”
“Lw anak inter bukan?”
“Kelompok 11, Eleveners, kumpul dong!”
“Kenalan, nama gw Diaz. Lw?”

Jakarta, 2008 – Ada seorang remaja laki-laki. Ia sedang berjalan menuju mesjid kampusnya sambil memakai almamater kuningnya. Ia ingin menunaikan tiga hal seketika ia tiba di mesjid tersebut: shalat dzuhur, wawancara teman seangkatan & mencari teman sekelompoknya. Dalam perjalanan tersebut, ia banyak menemui orang-orang beratribut sama dengan remaja tersebut saling berfoto berpasang-pasangan sambil mencatat apa yang lawan bicaranya bicarakan. Sesampainya di depan mesjid, “Diaz! Anak inter, kan? Foto bareng ya! Abis itu minta biodatanya boleh, kann?” sahut seorang remaja yang baru saja melepaskan jaket kuningnya. “Ehh, abis itu gw yaa!” sambung seorang remaja wanita yang berdiri di sebelah remaja tadi. Remaja laki-laki itu kemudian menjawab “Nggak bisa, kita kan sekelompok. Dewi Andini, kan?”

Mentor -
“Bang, ngeganggu nggak?”
“Bang, bisa minta nomor telfonnya nggak?”
“Bang, kira-kira kapan ada waktu, bang?”
“Bang, saya mau nanya...”
“Bang, kenalan, saya Diaz, angkatan 2008.”

Jakarta, 2008 – Ada seorang remaja laki-laki. Ia baru saja menyelesaikan satu hari penuh tentang pengenalan sistem akademis universitas. Ia merasa setiap langkahnya itu berat. Ia baru saja dijatuhkan “Strata Mayor” karena beberapa kesalahan pada tugasnya. Salah satu tugas yang harus dikerjakannya adalah wawancara ketua panitia dari acara yang berlangsung pada hari itu dan juga ketua senat mahasiswa yang sedang menjabat pada tahun itu. Setelah selesai shalat ashar, ia bergabung dengan teman-temannya yang sedang mewawancarai senior yang dimaksud. Di tengah wawancara itu, seorang senior datang menghampiri kerumunan tersebut. “Perkenalkan, nama saya Alldila Hendy, biasa dipanggil Hendy.”

these are a few of my memories that somehow I can recall completely, including the conversations.
this note, is my little Pensieve. (:

adapted from the note "my Little Pensieve".

the last lecture

2009-08-02T23:30:00.003+07:00

brick walls are there for a reason, they give them a chance to show them how badly we want something.
just because you're in the driver seat, it doesn't mean that you have to run over people.
we cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.
experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
you can always change your plan, but only if you have one.
luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
it's not how hard you hit, it's how hard you get hit.
whether you think you can or can't, you're right.
a bad apology is worse than no apology.
watch what they do, not what they say.
treat the disease not the symptom.
don't complain, just work harder.
loyalty is a two-way street.
when you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you.
-Randy Pausch.

these are just a few of wise words that gobsmacked me.
these aren't my words, they're Randy's.

the last sentence,
it gives me a temporary moral uplift
that gives permanent belief.

seeing is believing,
press and be impressed:

2009-06-22T18:44:00.003+07:00

"there is always light at the end of the tunnel" - anonymous.
I'm beginning to question that statement.
I'm beginning to lose beliefs.
I even wonder, who I really am day by day.

countless tragedy occurs lately.
a missing mp3 player,
an overcook laptop,
a lost blackberry,
a string of academic remedial,
and a screwed up interview.
amazingly, I am still curious on where does this series of unfortunate events leads to.

Is life really this miserable?
or am I the one that is not appreciative of things?

"Diaz ini tidak bisa menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan ini karena dia tidak tahu tentang dirinya sendiri..."
"Egois... sombong... meninggalkan teman..."
"Diaz, diatas langit ada langit... ingat itu."

Patience is virtue.
I'll hold on to it.
however, things must change.
I can't just sit around and let my life go with the flow.
They said that only fish that goes upstream survives.
Although it might be difficult, I'll fight upstream.
Fa'innama usri yusra, there's always ease after difficulties.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a first step.
Let's start by starting.

to caang TBM:
I'm sorry for being too egoistic, handling things on my own. I've learnt a lot along the way. I know, you guys will be better off without me. God knows that this is the best for me. Good luck, guys!

winning is not always the best option available.

2009-05-04T18:54:00.008+07:00

People say that winning or losing is not the main objective of a game.
When someone wins, euphoria and glory heightens their mood.
They feel that they are at the best men stepping the earth.
Confidence is never absent from the temporary state.

On the contrary, losing has never been appealing to anyone.
To lose would mean to be rejected from glory.
To lose would mean to have something yours taken.
To lose would mean not surviving.
To lose would mean death.

And a wise man said “Losing is a delayed win.”

I am listening.

I have just lost another important competition of my life.
My peer sees it as an ordinary competition.
Yet, I see it otherwise. It is an exceptional one.

The winner did not see it as a competition at all.
I was the complacent one.
I took my time and believe that “I still have six years of chance”.
I did not believe in my own ability.
I had the headstart and I neglected that chance.
I deserved it.

To the winner:
Enjoy the prize, and don’t take for granted.
Do not let overconfidence take over you.
Winning is not an immortal state.

As for myself:
Optimism is one of my traits.
I see that this glory is not meant for me for the time being.
I see this as a time for improvement.
I will neither give up nor keep trying.
I will still walk on my destined path.
Only God knows what lies ahead of me.

p.s.: as far as I know, only five people in this earth knows what I am referring to.

a letter.

2009-04-05T22:52:00.002+07:00

Dear Dad,
I love you.

I thank you for having the time to read this amidst your business as a breadwinner for the family. There are so many things that I want to tell you. I want to go back to the state where you will listen to all my annoying words. Back to where I was craddling around you.

I love you.

I want to feel easy around you. I want to feel as though you're my best friend. I'm jealous at others who can have great father-son time. I want the barrier between us to break. I want you to treat me as a kid, not as an adult. Be my personal diary, my source of comfort. It is still not too late.

I love you.

Although I went through the hard times without parental care, I always act as though you're present. I need you, and that is not a lie. I need you as my mentor of life. I need you as my listening ear.

I love you.

Dad, my life is currently in a mess. I've always solved all my problems on my own, I want you to be involved in my decision this time. Please, don't give me short and vague answers that will not eradicate my gloomy state.

I love you.

Dad, I am having summative exam tomorrow. I was too focused on Dikdas TBM & International Class Open House last week. I was astray from my academics and I did not even study for my formative exam. I have been trying to study for the whole night, yet there's nothing that sticks to my mind. I just can't link the dots. Dad, please help me.

I love you.

Dad, I am confused with my choices. I have been helping a girl who wanted to enter FKUI. I guided her steps by steps until she sat for SIMAK UI. I even lent money to her family so that she can sit for the exam. Half of my personal savings. Her family continued to contact me and starts treating me like part of their family. Her mother is always asking for my opinion on their family decision. I don't want to be too bounded to someone who is too persistant on me. I am not someone who is cold-hearted and mean. I am scared to reject helping her but I don't want to be used. How do you maintain professional relationships with your patients, dad? And for the girl herself, she failed the exam. What am I suppose to do, dad?

I love you.

Dad, I have always been wanting to tell you about a girl in the campus whom I had a crush on. I have told you about her descriptions during the end-of-year holiday, but I think you might have forgotten about it. I want to get closer to her, but somehow I felt some barrier between her and me. My emotions, my attitude and my academics is susceptible to her presence. What is your opinion, dad?

I love you.

Dad, I know you were one of study-oriented students when you were pursuing your medical degree. A few days back, one senior critisized and questioned my position in BPM. He made me reintrospect myself with his words. I admit I have not shown my contributions to the students as a whole because I was fixing the internals. I want to prove him wrong, dad. Give me your advice, dad.

I love you

Dad, I have always noted that best-friends usually have something in common. Although our physical features are very similar, I want something else that we love to do both without being interrupted by external factors. Can we work on that, dad?

I love you.

Dad, thank you for taking your time off to read my complaints of my life. I know some will sound petty to you. But these little things actually creates avalanche to my life as a whole. Your answers are like diamonds within sands to me, dad. I need you.

I love you, Dad.
Take Care of Mum.

a piece of mind.

2009-02-14T22:42:00.002+07:00

the past few weeks have been extraordinarily exhausting
i'm sure i have mentioned this for quite some time.
and these past few days have been demotivating a lot.
i know i am an optimist.
however, give me an opportunity once to be a pessimist.
let me shout out all my weenies.
all my whinings and cryings.

i don't know what is happening to me right now.
i used to be the diaz novera that was so hyper-active.
i used to be the diaz novera that was calm in handling situations.
i used to be the diaz novera that is very dilligent in everything.
i used to be the diaz novera, the know-it-all.
i used to be the diaz novera, the one that can solve everything within a click.
i used to be the confident diaz novera, the one that tends to be shameless at times yet the one that can maintain his cool in all situations.
and now, i am not the person that i've mentioned up there in the list.
i'm a total change myself.
i'm back to where i was when i first entered secondary school life.

i guess this is the real 'moving on'.
not the one that post break-up couples said.
being a totally different person is the real moving on.
i believe i was the big fish in a small pond.
being surrounded with genius brains (especially irma) made me really small.
made me really feel that i am nobody.
they intimidate my will to ask things freely.
wrong choice of words and i'll end up at the wrong crowd resulting in wrong grades.
academics itself is really pressurising.
two exams weighting 55% of the whole GPA.
four hours that affects my future.

back in secondary school, obtaining C is already an adequate achievement and an A is a miracle.
however, the situation here, less than an A-, it's considered miserable.
and yet, i'm still occupying myself with what i loved most from schools or any other educational institutions - Co-curricular Activities:
BPM, STUNICA, *TBM, *FSI.
if people asks me what my talents are, i think i have found my answer.
a totally useless talent.

on the other hand, i don't know why i am always looking upwards.
it's good that it paced my will to grow, to be a better person.
however, it mades me unappreciative of what i already have.
and i don't know why i can't start looking down and see the people around me.
in that way i can start appreciating my life better.

entering FKUI was the best wish granted.
before entering FKUI, i promised myself - hunting GPA is going to be all i will be doing, with total hardwork.
but, in actual, the real 'hardwork' seemed endless.
it's like climbing a summitless mountain.

they say life is like a sine graph,there're peaks and valleys.
i believe i am in the valley now and in a need to reach the peak real soon.
and now i realize i can't do everything on my own.
i need shoulders to lean and cry on.
i want someone to lift me up.

i need that person to do so.
and i must not be desperate for wanting that person.
Allah, please assist me.

happy birthday.

2008-11-22T15:56:00.005+07:00

happy seventeen, diaz.
the only one who had given me a gift this year is Allah Almighty.
a gift with thousands of meaning.
befalling with para-thypus, chronic asthma, incredulously high fever, heavy dry coughs and unstoppable flu on the D-day.

Laa ba'sa thohuurun insya' Allah.
it's okay, insya'Allah these illnesses is a way to cleanse your sins.
words aren't enough to describe it.
Alhamdulillah, thank you very much ya Allah. (:

a special thanks to Ichsan for accompanying me all the way from my place to RSCM to have a checkup. (:
and thank you to those who had given me birthday and 'get well soon' wishes. (:

celebration was not hype this year (thankfully),
only a small dinner after a troublesome CAL Exam,
for pictures it's available here. (:

a mission.

2008-11-19T12:00:00.001+07:00

for those of you who have been longing for updates,
let me provide you with some.

let's start with SDi,
Studi Dasar Islam,
we climbed hills, crossed the rivers and rolled in the mud
to achieve Ukhuwah Islamiyah (Brotherhood Bond).
the 6 of us shared a plate, prayed at night and recite al-quran repeatedly.
there are a lot more activities that will be eternalized in my memories.

moving on,
last saturday was the last magang (organization attachment) with my Eleveners.
December 9th, would be the last day we will meet as I will have to collect your last assignment.

a few more dates to remember:
November 23rd, Jazz Goes To Campus.
November 29th, Hari Kesehatan Nasional.
December 20th, Outbound.
December 21st, 2008's One night gathering, Expo Akhir, and last day of MaBim.
January 10th/11th, My Community Involvement Program.

there goes AGAIN my weekends.

to add on,
I'm campaigning for a seat in the legislative committee of FKUI - Badan Perwakilan Mahasiswa.
Here's my Vision and Mission:

Visi:

Saya Adalah Mulut Anda. Mulut adalah bagian dari tubuh yang dapat menyampaikan pemikiran seorang individu kepada individu lain. Secara analogis, mahasiswa adalah otak, dan anggota Badan Perwakilan Mahasiswa (BPM) adalah mulut para mahasiswa. Dengan menjadi Mulut para mahasiswa, saya akan dapat menjadi sebuah ‘kurir’ dalam menyampaikan buah pikiran para mahasiswa kepada lembaga-lembaga yang bersangkutan. Oleh karena itu, saya merasa bahwa dengan menjadi seorang anggota BPM IKM FKUI, saya akan dapat menyalurkan aspirasi mahasiswa-mahasiswa FKUI demi mewujudkan kesejahteraan mahasiswa selama mereka kuliah di FKUI.

Misi:
Mengimplimentasikan sistem penyaluran aspirasi mahasiswa.
Sampai saat ini, para mahasiswa menyampaikan langsung aspirasi-aspirasi mereka ke Senat Mahasiswa. Senat Mahasiswa sendiri mempunyai tanggung jawab untuk mengeksekusi aktivitas-aktivitas sesuai Garis-garis Besar Program Kerja Mahasiswa yang diadakan pada awal tahun. Aktivitas-aktivitas tersebut telah membuat Senat Mahasiswa mempunyai jadwal yang padat sehingga tidak sedikit aspirasi yang telah disampaikan oleh para mahasiswa terabaikan atau tidak terlaksanakan. Berikut ini adalah sistem penyaluran aspirasi yang akan saya implementasikan jikalau saya terpilih sebagai anggota BPM:

there you go, it's gonna be tiring to translate it into English.

give further suggestions for the success of my campaign. thank you.

lastly, today is my last day of being underage (in Indonesia).
Sixteen years and 365 days have passed on since the day my mother went through the labor of delivering me. I realized I have made several mistakes in the past. Some to the extent of hurting my mother's feeling. I am really sorry, mum. Thank you very much for the struggle that you have gone through to raise me up.

Without you, I wouldn't be here today.
Without you, I wouldn't be able to know what is right and what is wrong.
Without you, I won't be the Diaz Novera that you want me to be.

Tomorrow, the burden will be on me. I promise I will be an adult that will delight others and be a child that will push you up to Surga Firdaus, not pulling you down to Neraka Jahannam. Thank you mum, I Love You. (:

Allah s.w.t. thank you very much for the birthday gift. the importance to appreciate health. thank you for befalling me with several illness. I will try to be a doctor that will save millions of life. (:

content reflection.

2008-11-02T19:48:00.003+07:00

"I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
- Linda Creed in “The Greatest Love of All”

aku sedikit banyak merasa bahwa bait lagu ini pas banget untuk menggambarkan pikiranku saat menyiapkan dan melaksanakan kegiatan untuk departemen kaderisasi. aku bertugas membentuk mereka, angkatan baru. tugasku ini terkadang membuatku jadi orang yang tidak populer. dianggap jutek, galak dan sebagainya. tapi tak apalah. toh ini semua untuk mereka sendiri. seperti kata Mbak Ega, kami mempersiapkan masa di mana kami tidak perlu ada.

mari kujelaskan pemikiranku...

“I believe the children are our future..”
Aku termasuk orang yang percaya bahwa masa depan ada pada juniorku. Merekalah yang akan meneruskan perjuangan ku dan rekan – rekanku. Masa depan ada ditangan mereka, merekalah para pemimpin di masa depan.

“..Teach them well and let them lead the way..”
Tugasku adalah membimbing mereka dan memberikan kesempatan mereka untuk maju. Aku harus berikan mereka kesempatan untuk tampil dan menunjukkan kemampuan mereka. Bukan menekan dan terus-terusan mencari-cari kesalahan mereka.

“..Show them all the beauty they possess inside..”
Yang bisa aku lakukan adalah membantu mereka untuk menemukan potensi mereka yang terpendam, mengerahkan apa yang ada padaku untuk membuat mereka bisa memaksimalkan potensi mereka. Namun tetap saja “the beauty belongs to them”. Aku sama sekali tidak iri akan potensi dan bakat yang ada pada mereka.

“..Give them a sense of pride to make it easier..”
Juniorku harus punya good self-esteem. Mereka harus percaya diri. Mereka harus punya pikiran bahwa mereka mampu. Mereka harus yakin bahwa kalau aku mampu melakukan sesuatu, mereka juga mampu melakukannya; bahkan mereka bisa melakukannya dengan jauh lebih baik dari yang aku dan teman-temanku lakukan.

Mereka harus punya kebanggaan akan diri mereka sendiri. Kebanggan, bukan kesombongan. Mereka harus meraih kebanggaan itu dengan tangan mereka sendiri, bukan kami yang akan memberikannya pada mereka.

“..Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be..”
Terkadang aku kehilangan kesabaran saat menghadapi mereka. Aku tidak suka marah atau membentak. Mungkin karena sikapku yang tidak terlalu mengambil jarak, maka sebagian dari mereka (menurutku) menganggap remeh aku dan beberapa teman. Tapi aku sadar, ketika aku masih baru, sering sekali aku berlaku sama. Pada saat aku terpancing, kembali aku ingat bahwa aku pun pernah berlaku seperti itu.

Aku pasti akan lengser. Mereka pasti akan naik. Cepat atau lambat aku harus menyerahkan apa yang aku pegang sekarang kepada mereka. Aku turun langsung membentuk mereka. Bila aku tak rela menyerahkan amanah pada mereka, maka sesungguhnya aku tidak percaya pada kemampuanku sendiri.

Mereka harus lebih baik dari aku dan teman – temanku.

N+1 > N. Sebuah pernyataan yang tidak perlu diragukan lagi kebenarannya. Namun kebenaran ini tidak selalu terjadi di dunia nyata. Mereka bisa saja jadi lebih buruk dari aku dan rekan – rekanku bila mereka tidak mau belajar dari prestasi dan kesalahan kami.

FKUI 2007

FKUI 2008

walaupun sampai sekarang masih banyak dari kalian yang bertingkah aneh dan berlebihan, percayalah bahwa kami sangat mencintai kalian, hanya kalianlah harapan kami.
terserah kalian mau percaya atau tidak
Adik – adik ku, jangan kecewakan aku."

-Quoted from Michael Caesario's Facebook note.

Michael Caesario or better known as Rio is a senior who is in the Department of Kaderisasi, Sp.MB (Spesialis Mahasiswa Baru) and also, the ONLY international class student who is in the Department of Kaderisasi.I believe, all freshmen of FKUI should read this note and realize that the seniors actually being harsh at us for the benefit of ourselves in future.

Reading this note, i began to look back on how I used to be when I was in sec 3. Holding multiple positions (some are very vital to an extent that I managed made an amendment to the school rule before I left) in school realized my true identity. I have an extra edge on management and leadership compared to my friends. It was not a smooth sailing to reach those titles, thus it was not easy to let it go. I realized that I did not "trust my own abilities". I did not manage to pass on all what i have learned to my juniors. If only my batch (Camp Instructor 2006/7) had taught them in a proper manner and not too engrossed in our superiority, I believe that the 2007 Camp Leaders would not have to seek external guidance to help them in their duty. It's all too late and the mistake had gone on to the successors. I guess it is no use crying over spilled milk. All I have to do is to pray that Fuchun will increase the quantity of quality leaders in future that could bring it back to its successful regime just like a decade ago.

Being a medical student for 63 days have made me realize that life is actually full of choices. Yesterday, I was awarded with the title "ORATOR 2008". Only 4 students out of 251 are given this title because of their courage to stand out of the crowd and lead the others in expressing their opinion during the "Strike" simulation. Had I hesitate myself, I don't think I will be given the chance to lead the whole UI ,Universitas Indonesia,.the next time they go on strike for injustice government policies. In fact, yesterday I was totally not in a good shape. I was having severe headache, constant vomiting & defecation yesterday, that results in me having a high fever today. My HYPERactivity in campus had resulted me to have a longer and more cramped (some even collided) schedule compared to the rest of my friends. It is my choice to kill my free time. I'm a laid back person, if I don't start to adapt to this 25- hours-a-day schedule, I don't think I will be able to save lives when it is my turn to be on duty in Emergency Room in the later part of my study.

So, friends. I really would like to apologize that I have been giving late updates.
Don't be too worried. I'll be fine, when you think I am. (:

hold on.

2008-10-29T21:43:00.002+07:00

i'm tired.
no i don't think 'tired' can describe how much glucose had been used up in my body.
well, finally my layers of fat had a positive purpose.
it had kept me from being Hypoglycemic.
and yes, my weight is constant at 76.

Baksos Reguler.
(Batch 2008's CIP)
well, this one is not under my command.
mine's is International Class'.
it had gone extremely well.
it was even awarded with 'Baksos terbaik dalam 3 tahun terakhir'.
it worth sleeping overnite for the preparation.
(well i slept from 3.45AM till 4.15AM to secure the equipments for the CIP and the next day i compensated it with sleeping from 7.30PM till 7.30 AM)
anyway, this year's baksos had created a history where an International Class student became the chief.
Applause to Rheza Maulana.

Baksos Inter.
(My CIP)
becoming a leader sure is a tough job.
it's a no wonder that 'decision maker' was one of the characteristic of WHO approved doctors.
it's been dilemmatic for the past 3 days.
suggestions have been coming up and it's up for me to choose whether to listen to it or to reject the ideas.
however, the divisions have been working very hard to make it the best CIP of the decade. (we're the 9th batch, ironically)
and tomorrow i have to face the head of STUNICA (Student Union for International Class) to explain the progress of the CIP.
pray well that he approves of my proposal, cause if he doesn't, then i have to start all over again.

so far, life's not been well.
assignments after assignments.
and i begin to feel that 24 hours a day is not enough.
friday i'm having my module exam + OSCE.
Respiratory Emergency, Musculoskeletal Trauma, Combustio Trauma, Pediatrics, and all other First-Aid related topics to be memorized for that 3 hours exam.

to add more to my misery, i have attachments for each organizations of FKUI daily, soccer training every saturday morning and BP measurement every sunday morning.
plus Dean's Cup Soccer Tournament is coming up.

do understand my misery and show some empathy.
thank you. (:

for pictures, do visit my Facebook.
because the uploader for blogger is currently not working.
I know it's quite unconvenient as you have to be a member to view it.
however, it is very convenient for me because most pictures with me inside are tagged.
you have to see it for yourself to try it. (:
and i find it more user friendly than Friendster.
therefore, it explained why i've not been that active in Friendster recently.

P.S.: Fiqah, it's your turn. (:

atas tanggal (update).

2008-10-16T09:38:00.002+07:00

Congratulations to Riky Febrianshah for being appointed as the new head of batch.
And I would like to apologize for being too engrossed in my question that totally silenced all of you.
Anyway, do well in your job as a leader because your leadership will be questioned in the Judgement Day.
and remember "leadership is an art of saying no because saying yes is easy." (:
Also, don't forget your promises, especially the welcome party after coming back from Australia.
ahahahaha.

another update,
CIP is in a good progress although we're always interfered by Kader. (:

yes CIP, as the chief i have a 'well-planned' program.
so, do comment on my plan.
constructive comments please. (:

First, I have divided the batch into 6 departments.
-Public Documentation & Relation
-Event organizer
-Finance
-Consumption
-Equipment
-Security & Transportation

Next, I distributed the job to each departments as seen below:
-PubDoc&R: create banner, documentate the event and promote the CIP.
-EO: like what the name had said, organize the events throughout the CIP e.g. games, lunch and so.
-Finance: find sponsors and allocate budget for the CIP.
-Consumption: find cheap and nice catering. (:
-Equipment: works with the event department and get the required things for the CIP.
-Security & Transportation: transport the whole batch securely and come back in one piece. (:

I'll hold a meeting on saturday after the Psycho Test, so do submit the comments ASAP.
thank you, readers. (:

Updates.

2008-10-12T18:12:00.003+07:00

Jakarta is exceptionally hot today.
well, it had always been hot and the air is polluted.
no wonder the demand for doctors is very high.

yesterday, a fire broke out nearby.
and that causes a sudden blackout in the whole area.
so, yeah, i curiously went out to see the fire.
it was huge, and more dangerously, it was only 2 blocks away from Mega's place. (200m from my place)

@Mega's place.
Haykal: 2-3 tahun yg lalu, kalo ada kebakaran, org bawa'nya Sobotta atau Dorland, ehh jaman sekarang malah laptop yg diselamatkan.
Diaz: ahh, laptop kan masih berharga. (nunjuk ke org yg lg bawa jakun), tuhh bahkan ada yg sampe nyelamatin jakun saking 'sayangnya' ama UI.

Translated:
Haykal: 2-3 years ago, if a fire broke out, they save "Sobotta" (the MOST EXPENSIVE Atlas Anatomy ever scaled on earth) or Dorland (the THICKEST medical dictionary that even bullet couldn't pass through it). and nowadays, people save laptop.
Diaz: laptop is still precious. (pointing at someone who's carrying a Yellow Jacket), there's even someone who save the Yellow Jacket since they 'love' UI so much.

didn't get the joke?
you gotta be kidding.

okay, moving on,
PDOKM (Basic Leadership Training) killed 2008's mental yesterday.
we were asked to construct two boats made from newspapers within 25 minutes.
and the boats must fit the whole batch (251 of us).
so, we were panicked and messed up the whole simulation.
and the consequence for us is that: 2008 must have a 100% passing rate for MaBim (Orientation Period).
okay, that's quite IMPOSSIBLE considering that Kader (Department of Orientation, Undergraduate Senate) sets the passing grade for all of us.
and they could just set to have 1 or 2 failure to ruin us.
let's just hope it won't happen.

Anyway, I salute Dimas and Tiur for being able to stand up for all of us. Afterall, "Leadership is an art of saying NO, because saying YES is easy." (:

So, here I am sitting down at the CyberCafe, blogging while waiting for Dhianie to come online and send me my ppt slides.
Dhianie, come online soon and send me the ppt slides, it'll affect OUR GPA.

bye bye.

2008-10-03T23:37:00.005+07:00

one week break is over.
i can't believe it all went in a blink of an eye.

picture paints a thousand words.
and these pictures speaks of what i have been doing in singapore:

the three musketeers, established 9 Jan 2004PSP WE Club
and these are our membership requirement
we kick asses
the rarest gentlemen you can find.

and these pictures paints people whom I'll miss:

Okay, and i shall see these two on monday. (:

I'll be leaving Singapore in 8 hours time.
So, goodbye everyone. Thanks for everything, especially Syafiq. (:

selamat hari raya

2008-10-02T06:30:00.002+07:00

"Dear beloved friend, you have been such a great friend to me and I have been doing injustice by hurting you in my words & actions. Therefore, on this very holy day of Hari Raya, I would like to take the opportunity of sincerely apologizing for all the mistakes that I have done. Minal Aidin Walfaizin, Mohon Maaf Lahir Dan Batin."
sounds familiar?
haha.

Ramadhan:
30 Days of fasting is over. Thankfully I emerged as a champion, not as a loser that I used to be. Alhamdulillah. Unlike last ramadhan, I managed not to have any hiccups. Unlike last ramadhan, I managed to read and teach Al-Quran. Unlike last ramadhan, I went through it without my family. To sum up, I guess this ramadhan is better than its predecessors. I hope that on the Lailatul Qadr night, I was able to maximize my good deeds. And I'm praying that I can meet the next ramadhan. Insya'Allah. Amin.

i was welcomed in s'pore with "welcome back to singapore".
to clear the air, it's not "back", i'm a tourist in singapore.
so it should be "welcome to singapore." (:

Tuesday,
I spent my day playing pool with Suren,
Jin Hua joined the game later on.
Mohan came after the game.
And met Thura at Causeway Point.
Unfortunately, there's not a single photo taken with them.
(that's rare, considering we're very narcist)
Plus, we can now set up a 'PSP WE Club'.
Because all of them owns a PSP with the Winning Eleven game.

Yesterday,
Hari Raya.
Went for the Ied Prayers at the field next to my house.
When we returned,
Chains of guests coming in. One after another.
So, we entertained the guests until we dropped.
And at 10PM, went to Rahmat's house.
Well, it is unusual for his house not to be in the 'messy' state. (duhh, it's hari raya)
Chat, chat and chat.
Like Cinderella, when the clock ticked at 12AM
I rushed home.
Oh, and to Rheza Maulana, welcome to singapore. (:

Happy Birthday Rashilah! (:
Happy Birthday Kresna! (:

second round of roller coaster.

2008-09-19T14:34:00.003+07:00

I'm tired.
Seriously.
I've been too busy with assignments and events.
I couldn't even catch a breath.
and now, i've gotten myself indulging paracetamols on sahur and break fasts to reduce my coughing, flu and fever.

Nevertheless, let's do the update:
1. Today's bukpus is postponed to thursday and i'm still in charge of both tadarus and ta'siyah.
2. Flight is on Sept 28th, I'll msg fiqah, ezah & suren for further updates.
3. This week is last week for English and next week is PBL skills.
4. Monday there's soccer game against the seniors.
5. Monday is the deadline for all my assignments.
6. Tomorrow: M.U. Cafe, 8PM, United vs Chelsea. (:
7. 26th- BukPus with the orphans.
8. 27th- Sahur On The Road.

Another roller coaster.

2008-09-15T01:04:00.003+07:00

I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Buka Puasa, we spent Rp 1.200.000.00 that nite. (:

And presenting: One Day Gathering.

presenting: the Ancurters "ODG Edition"

we were made to do line dancing.
blindfolding ourselves.

received commands from vivi and meutia.

gave the instructions to the rest.

repeated it to them again.

gave them further details.

and had Dwi to pull me down.

In case you're wondering why were we doing those stupid things,
it's part of the orientation program to get us closer to our seniors.
and yeah, they did a good job.
excellent in deed. (:

okay, updates:
1. I'm appointed as the organizer for BakSos Inter 2008 (C.I.P.)
2. I'm chosen for Tadarus & Taksiyah for BukPus on friday.
3. I have 10 essays to be handed in on friday.
4. Tomorrow there's a physiology exam and i haven't studied yet.
5. There's an English test on tuesday.

busy huh? there are actually a lot more.
my N95's organizer can be the evidence of how busy I am.
almost everyday you could see the blue triangle on the bottom left corner.
it drains almost every bit of me to survive.
plus United's loss to Liverpool made the damage even more severe.
(yeahh rashilah, happy laughing & smiling.)
I need a break!
totally off from my assignments & worries.

27th sept, time please fly.

one week.

2008-09-06T14:59:00.005+07:00

First week of school,
first week of ramadhan,
and one week of total roller coaster.

Too many things happen and, as usual, i couldn't list all of them down here.
Okay, let's start with my circle of friends.
I've gathered a few friends that has the same 'inadequate sanity' as me.
and we called ourselves the 'ancur'ters

presenting: the 'ancur'ters

We named ourselves after an Indonesian band called the changcuters.
Changcut in Sundanese means undergarment.
and Ancur in Bahasa Indonesia means messed up.
notice the similarity between us and the band?
Well, we'll be releasing a hit single anytime soon.
I'll put it up on imeem once it's done. (:
insanity is taking over.
ahahahahaha

So, yach.
One week of school,
so it means that i'm done with one week of English.
and i have works piling up.
surveys, the lecture journal, the paragraph writing and bla bla bla.
and amidst all that havoc, i still can post a blog.
ahahahaha.

Anyway, next week is interesting.
There's sports lecture in the afternoon.
and i'm wondering, why do they lecture us for a practical activity.
well, welcome to university world where they teach us back from basic. (:
and yeahh, tomorrow there's Salam Salemba, monday there's BukPus together & friday there's a one-night party.
three activities to look forward to. (:
ahahaha

to conclude,
i have one good news to friends in S'pore.
my sister is having exams during the last week of ramadhan.
that means, I'M COMING TO SINGAPORE.
27/28th september is the date to remember.
i'll give further information on my next post.
do fetch me aite. =P

Ramadhan.

2008-09-01T21:08:00.002+07:00

today marks the first day of Ramadhan
& my very first official lecture.
English Lecture to be specific.
yes, my module for the next three weeks is English Language.
8-12, monday to friday. (:
cool huh?

haha.
fortunately, it's not the same context as secondary school's English lesson.
they're very focused on writing scientific journals, communicating with various patients and much more. (:
interesting ehh?

and today,
for the first time in my life,
I read Al-Quran, Surah Al-Baqarah, verses 183-185
in front of the whole FSI members during breaking fast.
i was having cold sweat while reading the verses that explained about Ramadhan.
almost every FSI members ranged from 2003 to 2008 batch was there.
consider it as my biggest public speaking ever.

okay, what is FSI?
FSI stands for Forum Studi Islam.
so every muslim undergrads belongs to FSI.
and FSI organizes Islamic activities for the undergrads. (:
i'll talk about the details some other day if i have the chance to, insya'Allah. (:

moving on, let me talk about my class.
of all classes, my class is considered the most insane, the most active and had the most energy.
other classes admitted that too.
having Kevin, Glenn, Krisna, Konda, Irvana and me on the same class is not a good idea.
luckily Jesslyn is not in the same class as us, or it will be quite uncontrollable for the lecturers.
basically, we're the one who had the motormouths.
the one that dominates the class conversations and discussions.
unsurprising eh?
ahahahaha.

oh, and we have the genius 15-year-old Felix in our class.
that would make the class a 'perfect' one. (:

to conclude my post,
I know I've made mistakes.
and some actually hurts you.
Please don't hold any grudge on me.
and I won't hold any in return.
I'm just an imperfect man.
So, please accept my sincere apology in this holy month.
Minal Aidin Walfaizin, Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Batin.
Selamat Menunaikan Ibadah Puasa. (:

Wadihiltaufik walhidayah, wassalammualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu.

2008-08-27T15:47:00.003+07:00

PSAU finally over.
yes, i survived. (:

but like what the seniors said,
"even if you survived here, you may not survive when you're at the clinic. patients, nurses even senior doctors will scream at you, spat at you, and even threw your work at your face if you made a single mistake. however, if you are united and able to go through this together, you will be the one of the 'seven stars doctor'. the fact that you're sitting here means you're someone special. each one of you represent 200 other students who wanted to enter the oldest, the most prestigious and the best course in Indonesia. don't let them down."

yeahh, i gotta work hard.
i can't slack around like i used to in secondary school.
thanks kak Alldila Hendi & kak Azlan.
you made PSAU a memorable one. (:

finally, i'm officially one of "the yellow jacket"s. (:
ohh, and i probably won't be able to update as often as i used to.
there's school on monday, there's no internet at my homestay and the campus' internet is very biased.
and my only connection to the web is through my phone & cybercafes. =X
ahh, that's good isn't it?
more time to study.
haha.

friends, i miss you guys. (:

2008-08-25T19:37:00.002+07:00

welcome to FKUI.

as stated. (:

Orientation sucks. yes it does.
but it's kind of cool that we can do the wordings in 3 minutes.
united as one, FKUI 2008 BANGKIT!

i've got myself a "strata major" on the first day.
cool huh? there goes my "potentially good boy" image.
well, it's kind of impossible to do the assignments according to what the senior wants.

anyway, because of my "strata major", i have another pile of work to finish.
i guess i'm burning midnite oil for the third nite.
-somebody save me!-

2008-08-18T01:31:00.002+07:00

17 Agustus 1945 - 17 Agustus 2008
Happy 63rd National Day, Indonesia. (:

okayy, a little update here.
first, congrats to ikka for getting in into FK Unsyah! (:
too bad we can't meet up anytime soon.
but well, we'll have more pizza hut dates in future. (:

second, i've just gotten myself a homestay for 2 months because the new apartment is not ready.
the place is quite nice and my roommate is my mother's friend's son.
apparently he's also one of Pak Abri's students. (:
there's no internet connection there, but there's a nearby cybercafe.
so, i'll be relying solely on my phone for friendster and msn.
for blog, maybe once a week will be sufficient.
considering the tight monday-saturday timetable that i'll be having.
and, yes next week is FKUI's orientation.
better get myself ready for it. (:

thirdly, thanks to Nur Syafiqah for the new blogskin. (:
i know you love me too much and care to change the blogskin for me.
i love you too. (:
haha.

last, i'm quite disappointed with today's result.
Manchester United 1 - 1 Newcastle.
well, it's quite a de ja vu.
last year we were held a draw on our first match, and we emerged champion at at the end of the season.
seems like the same thing is going to occur this time round too. (:

alright, i have laundries piling up and books to pack for thursday's flight.
seems like this would be my last stay in Banda Aceh.
if i can take a one-week leave, maybe i'll be back during Hari Raya.

Bali was great, holiday's over, now it's time to go back to school. (:

2008-08-11T02:01:00.005+07:00

DOUBLE HAPPINESS. (:

further information: http://penerimaan.ui.edu/media/files/pengumuman-2008-2/UM1379_2008.pdf

as printed there, i'm officially a Universitas Indonesia student. (:
well, i can't believe my own eyes when i read the announcement.
and yes, that marks the end of my 8 months struggle. (:
plus ezah's pizza hut meal.
happy huh?
ahahahahahaha. (:

oh, and Allah added me with another pleasant news:
Manchester United won the community shield.
without Ronaldo & Rooney.
well, it shows that United will be having a good start this season even without their stars. (:

but it all come with a cost.
1. I won't be able to meet up with friends i've made here in banda aceh );
(esp ikka, sorry but my journey ended here. you'll do fine in Unsyiah, alrite. i'll come and visit sometimes. (: )
2. I have to let go my dearest Benz & Lexus. );
3. after i've calculated everything, i've actually spent around Rp200M till this moment. );
(thanks mum & dad, i love you both. (: )

i promise, i'll repay everything by doing well in UI.
wish me luck, i'll be on my own from now. (:

well, tomorrow i'll be going to Jakarta to settle my registration and then head for Bali for a one-week break.
if everything goes fine, insya' Allah i'll be able to start schooling on 3rd September.
i'll try to update more frequently, alrite. (:

P.S. : To people who had conrtibuted to my success, thank you very much and may Allah bless you in 'duniawi' and 'ukhrawi'. i will never forget you, insya'Allah. (:

Alhamdulillah, ya Allah. Sungguh hamba tidak ada kata2 untuk berterimakasih kepadaMu.
"Arrahman niraahiim", tidak ada seorang manusiapun yg bisa menggugatnya.
Memanglah Enkau Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang ke semua hambamu.
Terima kasih. (:

2008-08-08T18:57:00.005+07:00

ohkayy.
Mr Private Number, stop calling me at 2AM just to ask for 'Musa'.
i don't even know who is that and you're disturbing my peaceful sleep.
it's very annoying. for 3 nites you've been giving me wake up call at the wrong timing.
i would appreciate your fruitless effort if you call 3 hours later. (:

let's leave Mr Private Number alone,
i actually wanted to blog yesterday if it wasn't for the blown up modem.
yes, the modem blew up yesterday and it forced me to use my slow-but-precious GSM modem.
i think the bill would be more expensive this month.
i'll expect arnd 500k since fiqah had been texting me lately.
oh and readers, i have a new number.
+62-85-66-04-03-03.
it's prepaid not postpaid.
so if you can't get me on my 1991 number, do contact this number as my 1008's sim card is scratched on the metal part & currently (permanently, i think) unavailable.

yesterday,

stewardess: what would you like to drink, sir?
dad: coke please.
stewardess: sorry but we don't serve carbonated drinks in morning flights.
steward: yeah, we don't want our passengers to get extra stomachache in the morning.
diaz: *laughed at dad*

what a way to start the day.

it's a sunrise, not a sunset.

amazing huhh?
well, i took this rare shot in the waiting room. (:

ohh and i have another picture.

icha, aunt mimi, me, ikka, kiki. (:

courtesy to ikka. (:
notice the tall pole over there?
yes, that's me.
ahahahahaha.
they're my dearest cousins and (to my right) aunt. (:
and of course, this was taken during Kak Ina's wedding.
yeahh it's been long.
almost a decade.
if i have the same pic 10 years ago,
i'll put it up sometime to see how grown up we've been. (:

let's not get stuck in the past.
i have exactly 8 more days to know where my future lies.
either UI or UNSYIAH?
i've given my all and now left for the Almighty to do the finishing.

worst case scenario:
"what if i failed?"
yeahh, what if i failed?
i've thought of a few options:
1. go to UGM and do the expensive matriculation program?
2. go to Fajar Harapan and be a normal high school student?
3. get back to my job and search for more work experience?
4. be unemployed for a year and study for next year's exam?

gimme your opinion on the tagboard.
your view is very much appreciated. (:

2008-08-03T01:14:00.003+07:00

everything happened today.
as stated. (:

let's start with Kak Ina's wedding.
oh man, she was gorgeous.
well, like what everyone says:
a woman looks most beautiful on her wedding day. (:
seems like in a couple of years, there will be someone calling me "Om Diaz".
gosh, i feel so old. =X
ahahahaha.

anyway, i met my dearest cousins whom i haven't seen for almost a decade.
and to my surprise, one is going to the same college as me.
woohoo! we'll be best friends for sure. (:

after her wedding, i went to Unsyiah to submit my application.
fortunately, everything goes well since the staffs are actually my father's acquaintances.
colleagues to be specific.
insya'Allah by 16th August, i'm officially one of Alfi's classmate. (:

from Unsyiah, my father and i went to the RedCross to donate blood.
thanks to my father, today i had officially donated my first 500mL of blood. (:
considering that my weight is e***** t**** kg,
and yet i'm an underage kid.

father's uncle is currently admitted in the hospital due to kidney failure.
and he need about 1.5Liter of blood.
fortunately his blood group is O,
and most of my family members is O. (:
and alhamdulillah till this moment we've gathered around 1 Liter. (:
if there's some kind soul that can donate the last 500mL of blood,
may Allah bless him in hereafter. (:

yes, the final exam is around the corner.
i'll be on another one-week hiatus.
so, leave your comments on the tagboard alright.
see ya, next week. (:

2008-08-01T00:49:00.003+07:00

take a look at the date.
yeah, the result for SNMPTN is out today.
and again, for the four consecutive time, i failed.
no, i did not cry this time.
i'm too used to failing.
let's just hope i pass the 5th exam (and apparently the last one).
Insya' Allah. (:

anyway, congrats to Alfi, Dora & Ririn for making it to Faculty of Medicine UNSYIAH.
and also Popoen for getting in to Oil Engineering ITB. (it's one of the most prestigious course in Indonesia.)

"diaz targetnya tinggi kali, makanya nggak keterima." Alfi's comment.
yeahh, i aimed high. way too high that i couldn't reach it.
yes, i scored higher than Alfi in this exam.
but my score didn't meet the requirement for the seat i aimed for.
i guess it wasn't my luck. (:

well, good luck diaz.
there's only five days left for the 5th exam. (:

2008-07-29T23:48:00.005+07:00

alhamdulillah.
segala puji untuk Allah subhanahuwata'alla.

they put me in tears again.
not the same tears dropped.
this time it's the tears of joy.
NDJ, Allah answered our prayers.
the frame had been fixed.
she has accepted him with an open arms.
the wall had the same fate as Berlin Wall.

and that bitch,
though they're still in contact,
he began ignoring that bitch.
hopefully that bitch will forever be gone.

let's not take this situation for granted, okay.
it's about time for us to make a move, NDJ. (:

2008-07-28T00:50:00.003+07:00

Wali - Dik
Dik, aku pinta kau akan slalu setia
Dik, aku mohon kau slalu menemani
Saat ku tengah terluka
Kala ku tengah gundah

Reff:
Ku akan menjagamu
Di bangun dan tidurmu
Di semua mimpi dan nyatamu
Ku akan menjagamu
Tuk hidup dan matiku
Tak ingin, tak ingin kau rapuh

Dik, jangan engkau pergi tinggalkan aku
Dik, ingin aku cinta dan cinta slalu
Saat kau tengah terluka
Kala kau tengah gundah

Back to Reff:
Kau akan menjagaku
Di bangun dan tidurku
Di semua mimpi dan nyataku
Kau akan menjagaku
Tuk hidup dan matiku
Tak ingin, tak ingin kau rapuh

enough with "sadis".
i think this song would fit in my blog rather than "sadis".
so, thank you afgan!
hope you guys like the new song.
do enjoy it's chorus. (:

Renungkanlah.

2008-07-26T22:45:00.005+07:00

Mesjid Raya's night view.

"... para hadirin sekalian, cobalah renungkan ini sejenak.
pikirkanlah jika besok adalah penerbangan kita.
penerbangan yang bukan memakai pesawat Garuda.
melainkan penerbangan yang memakai usungan yang dibawa oleh enam manusia.
visa yang kita pakai bukan untuk lima tahun di arab, amerika atau negara-negara lain.
melainkan visa kita adalah untuk selamanya.
bekal kita bukanlah uang.
melainkan amal saleh selama hidup di dunia.
makanan kita bukanlah nasi.
melainkan cacing.
minuman kita bukanlah air.
melainkan nanah.
tempat tinggal kita bukanlah rumah.
melainkan sebidang tanah petak 1mx2m.
dan destinasi kita adalah akhirat.
menuju surga atau neraka.
renungkanlah sejenak,
apakah bekal kita cukup untuk penerbangan ini?"

translated:
"... listeners, let's reflect on ourselves.
imagine if tomorrow is our flight.
and the plane is not Garuda.
but a stretcher with six human carrying it.
our visa is not a 5 year arab, US or other countries' visa.
but a visa forever.
our savings is not money.
but our good deeds that we did during our lifetime.
our food is not rice.
but worms.
our drink is not water.
but pus.
our place isn't a house.
but a piece of 1m x 2m land.
and our destination is hereafter.
either heaven or hell.
let's reflect on ourselves.
is our savings enough for this flight?"

*Quoted from yesterday's sermon on friday prayer.*

i almost shed a tear listening to this.
it just make me guilty.
i've sinned. way too much for me to remember.
people, i made mistake.
if there're times when i've hurt you accidentally.
please forgive me.
because i don't know when's my 'flight' will be.
and i want to make it to heaven when i reach my 'destination'.
so people, i apologize for every mistake i've done in the past.
i'm not ready for this flight.
what about you?

2008-07-25T00:32:00.004+07:00

working sucks, don't you agree?haha.

well, like what Adam Khoo said, only 3% of the population had their dream job.
i guess i belong to the 97% batch. haha.

anyway, let's be a pessimist today. just today.

there were blackouts on the whole province for 2 days, tuesday & wednesday.

what i mean by blackouts are TOTAL BLACKOUTS.

imagine having yourself stuck in the city where there's no electricity.

yeah, no lights at night, no computers, no tv and no power outlet to charge my phone.

that would explain why i couldn't blog for the last 2 days.

yes there were internet connection in the office.

and it was very very very very very slow.

blackout + work = stucked up, stressed up & frustrated guy. (:

yeah, it's just like drink driving, it doesn't match.

well, this job seems like a blessing in disguise.

yes, i get work experience.

yes, i get paid for this job.

yes, i'm no longer unemployed.

it seems like working gives you life.

but only if your boss doesn't SCREW YOU UP.

yes boss, i get in to this job because of nepotism,

not because of meritocracy.

was that the reason for treating me differently?

okayy fine, you're right. i'm not the man for the job.

admin work is not my style.

i hate sitting in front of the computer (CS & DoTA is exceptional).

and i hate running errand to collect patients incomplete data.

plus i hope i've lost a kg just now. (: . haha.

the blackouts worsen the situation.
it's like everyone suddenly crowds around the ICU & Emergency.

yes the electricity is flowing there and there's air con.

but with 50 ppl sandwiching each other,

they're just making the air con works harder,

and therefore - waste electricity.

okayy, so what makes me frustrated was that

i have to dig through the crowd to get to the front desk just to collect a file.

when i returned to my desk (which is abt 300 metres away),

the boss asked me to upload pictures of recent surgeries to the database over the net.

as i've mentioned earlier, the internet is very very very very very slow.

just for uploading 20MBs of pictures, it takes about 2.5hrs.

i could do the same thing in s'pore for just 30 mins.

see the gap there?

so peeps in s'pore, do appreciate your internet connections.

you can get very impatient if you can't adapt to the situation.

oh ya, i forget to mention that, it's 2.5hrs without getting disconnected. (:

to round off my day,

i saw the new Lancer EX in the papers.

and the cupid lanced it through my heart.

love at first sight, how romantic. (:

it looks like Evo 10, but it's not. (:

PS: I'm thinking of changing my blogskin, what do you say?

2008-07-21T21:08:00.006+07:00

Dear readers,

I believe I owe a long explanation for an "almost-two-weeks" hiatus.
I was in Singapore for a short break waiting for SNMPTN results.

Well, dad actually disagree with me going to Singapore due to some "family" issue.

But thanks to God's Will, I could make it for my sister's birthday.

We celebrated it at Swensen's with my sister's friends

To YB's: it wasn't anything much, only $175.45 w/GST. (:

Thanks to this trip, I'm able to collect my certificate & year book.

Again, the school mis-typed my award: Student of the Month for SEPT 2006.
On the plaque & the letter that I received was: Student of the Month for AUGUST 2006.
I just hope this doesn't create a problem when I apply for a job in the future.

Not only that, i'm able to meet people whom i've missed.

My best 5; Suren, Thura, Fiqah, Ezah & Rahmat. (:
Well, we've managed to hang out together for a few days.

Here are some pictures that i managed to take:

Me & Fiqah.

Ezah & I.The MI-3.
STA & DN.

unbreakable bond since 7 January 2004. (:

diaZieqah.

The last picture, when was the last time we took it?

I'm a man of my words, we're just friends and we're not getting back into BGR relationship. (:

Anyway, I manage to attend the sec 2 campfire during this trip.The seniors are still as united as ever and we manage to put up an impromptu performance, thanks to Azura, Sean & other instructors. (:

These are some highlights:

"unlively" sec 2s. hyped-up instructors.
the top 5. =P
Siti Saleha.

Saleha. A girl whom i had a crush on when she was with my bestfriend. The good old days. (:

Let's take a break now, I'll continue with my 23hrs KL transit tomorrow. (:

PS: Ezah, I know my English is poor. I got a 5 for my O's, unlike you. I'm brushing it up now, so please correct my mistakes aite. (:

2008-07-09T22:54:00.003+07:00

i realize, things changed.
mohan grew taller,
thura became more matured,
jin hua's hair is back in black,
and suren is becoming more "wild".

but some things doesn't:
our childishness & friendship. :)

snooker was the game of the day.
mohan was leading all the way
till the last moment where he flopped to the bottom of the table by mis-hitting the pink ball.
ahahahahaha.:)

after playing snooker, we went to cwp to have some Ramli Burger.
i was stunned to see the price:
Hot Dog: $2.00,
Special burger: $2.80.

$2.80?!
wth.
it's so expensive. =X
but thanks for the reminder, granma.
things are getting more expensive here.

i wonder how'll the seoul garden treat will cost tmrw. =X
oh ya, happy birthday my beloved sis. :)

2008-06-29T23:53:00.002+07:00

Tagged by: Nur Syafiqah

1.At which age do you want to get married?
26/27

2.Who is more important to you? Friends or girlfriend?
Let's see, if she's my fiancee, i'll take girlfriend. otherwise, it's friends.

3.Who is/are the person/people you trust most?
Me, mum, sis, STD, F&F.

4.Do you think you have enough confidence?
Too much, i think.

5.What would you do if you saw someone abusing an innocent animal?
I'll have a good swing between his/her legs.

6.Do you believe in seeing rainbow after rain?
Isn't that the fact?

7.What is your goal for this year?
Change my status from "Unemployed" to "Undergraduate".

8.Do you believe in eternity love?
Nahh, nothing last forever in this world.

9.Have you ever broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?
I'm cautious at handling people's heart.

10.What feeling do you love most?
Loved, Noticed & Satisfaction.

11.If one day your best friend and girlfriend quarrel, who will you side with?
I'll pretend i didn't know anything.

12.List out 5 of your best friends.
Suren, Thura, Rahmat, Fiqah, Faiezah.

13.Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
I must be heartless if i don't.

14.Do you like to hang out with friends?
Of course.

15. What/Who do you think is/are the most important in your life?
Allah almighty. family & friends. oh ya, Old Trafford too. =)

16.If you were on a ship, your mother and your girlfriend (been together for 2 years) were knocked out of the ship, you only have one life float, who would you throw it to?
Share.

17.If your girlfriend were to two-time you, what would you do?
Let's play two-time too!

18.If time were to rewind, when will you want it to be?
1 Hijriah, i want to be one of Rasul's (s.a.w.) trusted friends.

19.Have you ever thought that you've made the wrong decision & you're in a dilemma after that?
Nahh, my life is already planned. =)

20.How would you describe your first date?
Direct approach.

Tagged:
you!

last nite.

2008-06-28T14:26:00.003+07:00

whatever i write here is only my expression.
yes, something happened.
but please don't ask me to share.
it's just something too personal.

how could you?
it's just way too painful.
i don't know what you were thinking.
have the rest of us been forgotten from your mind?
why are you following only your desire?
where are your sense of responsibility?
i'm at my crucial point of life,
and you left me to struggle alone.
why didn't you learn from your lesson?
you stabbed me at heart.
i can't believe i'm now living a lie for you.
trust isn't there anymore.
yes without you i won't be here,
but with what you're doing,
how can i follow your footsteps?
you've been my best mentor,
do you expect me to follow that too?
i thought what i've gotten from you was a gift.
now it became a burden, a lifetime burden.
8 years passed since the last time you did it.
you apologized and promised not to do it again.
yes, you've been good in front of us.
fulfilling all our needs.
and last nite,
caught red-handed.
worse,it was my room.
NDJ, if you're reading this,
i believe our fear is surfacing.
just hope this will be the last.

once again,
please don't ask me what happened.

2008-05-22T05:02:00.003+07:00

WOOHOO!
MANCHESTER UNITED WON THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!

party up people!
WOOHOO!

anyway, let's have some respect for Grant.
he had continued where Mourinho had left behind,
he did the job humbly
and made a new record for Chelsea - making it to CL's finals for the first time in history. =)

oh well, UNITED are still the better side.

moving on...
a lot of things happened last week:
Monday - mum & dad left for Jakarta and leave me with the big house alone.

Tuesday- tried daddy's freshly repaired Merce. (and it turned out worse than Lexus. =X)

Wednesday - did my 1st so-called "drift". (well, it left a tyre mark, does it considered as a "drift"?)

Thursday - almost hit a woman whom jay-walked the road. (i hope a loud horn can get her mind straight.)

Friday - mum & dad is back from Jakarta. =)

Saturday - MB0805 won 2 & lost 2 matches in SCL kick-off. (congrats, guys! trash other class next year aite!)

Sunday - Faiezah begged me to update. =P

ahahahahahaha.

Two Days Ago - zieQah chat with me and complaint abt adhita.
those two simply can't see each other, they'll find a reason to hate each other. =.="

message -
to zieQah: Quit living in the past, whatever had happened just let it go and stop making assumptions.

to Adhita: Act like a 17-year-old, please! zieQah is still a kid. her way of thinking is different from us! approach the problem in a civilized manner.

girls, i simply can't understand them.
no wonder Andrea Hirata wrote:
"Men couldn't get what Women really wants because they simply doesn't know what they really wants.".

Yesterday,
Indonesia celebrated 100 years of National Awakening.
the parade was AWESOME! it was WAY BETTER than SINGAPORE's. =)
Indonesia BISA! =)

Today,
my dear laptop somehow was cured after 3 days of internetbrowser-less. =P

i'll reply the comments on friendster ASAP, alrite! =D

Glory, glory to United.

2008-05-11T23:11:00.002+07:00

UNITED are Barclay's Premier League CHAMPION. =D
It's their 10th title in 16 seasons! woohoo!
It worth a dent on my laptop. =D
(well, it flew from the bed when i jumped as Giggs slotted the ball into the goalpost. =P)

alrite, let me wrap up what has been going on for the past few days.
it has been really HECTIC.
my day starts at 5:30AM, where there's "ngaji" till 8:00AM
then there's EL tuition at 10.00AM till 12.00PM.
followed by "Paket C" course at 2:30PM till 5:30PM.
and there comes my night life: maths tuition at 7:30PM till 11PM.

and it cycle will go that way again the next day.
oh well, insya'Allah, Allah pays off my hard work. =)

yesterday the Four-Ee-Ones-07 meet up at Sentosa.
and i video called Thura just to say "hi" to them.
but when he answered, only Mohan, JH & Qen were there.
well at least i've got to meet them. =D
how i miss 4E1'07 so much!
plan for next outing alrite!
maybe teachers' day,
or Miss Toh's b'day?
insya'Allah i'll come this time. =)

2008-05-05T17:47:00.002+07:00

yesterday was truly exhausting.

reached airport at 2.10PM,
dad promised to meet me at 2.15PM.
yet he turned up at 2.35PM.
wth.
his reason was "forget how to get to terminal 1 from terminal 2."
ahahahahahaha.
yeah that's my dad. =)

went inside to check-in, and WOW what a nice view.
there were 7 counters open for check in
and there were only 4 officers working.
the queue was not like how you queue up to get your cash @ ATM,
but it was like one at Padang Mashar, where you wait for your deeds to be judged by Allah.
=.="

the flight was at 4.45PM, and we got our boarding pass at 4.35PM.
amazing ehh? 2 HOURS queue just to check in.
went inside the waiting room
and alhamdulillah, the flight was delayed till 5.00PM. =D

another wonder,
normally Jakarta-Medan takes 2hours.
but we landed @ Medan at 6.45PM.
okayy, that compensate the 15 mins delay.
and suddenly,
"Karena alasan operasional, para penumpang yang melanjutkan penerbangan ke Banda Aceh harap turun dan lapor ke meja Transit untuk pergantian pesawat."
ohh okay, this really "makes" my day.

went down to waiting room,
searched for mushalla and did my prayer.
i thought we'll resume the flight as per normal, 30 mins of transit.
and again, Lion Air comes up with another delay and the flight resumed at 8.00PM.
aaaaaaaaaargh, i feel like suing the company. =.="

when we landed at Banda Aceh,
we were first to go out from the plane,
but the last to get our luggage. =.="

what a day.

and this morning,
i woke up hearing cries.
i realized it was my own breath.
ohh, welcome back asthma!
the last time you visited was during LTC 2006.
how i "missed" you!

2008-05-02T00:34:00.003+07:00

Happy 17th Birthday to Dini & 46th Birthday to Dad. =D

just a little prayer for my dad:

ya Allah ya tuhanku,
hamba berterima kasih karena telah memberikan hidup kepada ayah hamba 46 tahun yang lalu.

ya Allah ya tuhanku,
sungguh ayah hamba telah menjadi seorang ayah yang telah mendidik anak-anaknya ke jalanMU dan telah menjadi seorang kepala keluarga yang bijaksana & menyayangi.

ya Allah ya tuhanku,
ampunilah segala dosa ayah hamba, sesungguhnya ia bukanlah manusia yang sempurna yang bersih dari segala macam dosa.

ya Allah ya tuhanku,
berikanlah ayah hamba yang terbaik untuknya didunia dan letakkanlah dia di Surga Firdaus bila ia pulang menghadapmu.

ya Allah ya tuhanku,
tolonglah kabulkan doa' hambamu yang lemah ini, karena hanya dengan doa seorang anak , ibu dan ayahnya dapat masuk ke surga.

Amin ya rabbal alamin.

"Allahummafirli waliwalidaya warhamhumma kamaa rabbayanni shagiraah"

2008-05-01T05:12:00.002+07:00

Final Result:
CHELSEA 3-2 LIVERPOOL.

oh well. another dramatic night of football.
lampard scored for his late mother,
first time ever chelsea made it to final,
bla bla bla...

anyway, it's only football.
so Rashilah, i hope you didn't cry just now.
look at the bright side,
torres had a nice shot and babel's goal was spectacular. =D

moving on,

i bought another book by Habiburahman El Shirazy yesterday,
it's a dwilogy and i've finished the first book within 6 hours after i bought it.
(it kept me busy till dinner. =D)
the plot really keeps the reader engaged, the subplot is entertaining,
and the lesson learnt is really useful in everyday life unlike other fiction books.
i would say this book has a more realistic and better story line than Harry Potter.
Muslim readers, if you're interested, i can loan the book to you. =D

4 in the Morning

2008-04-30T04:00:00.002+07:00

Woohoo!

UNITED MADE IT TO FINAL! =D

thanks to Scholes' half-volley goal, united secured a place @ Moscow.
united gonna win anyway,
cuz neither chelsea nor liverpool are a match for united. =D

uh oh.
i'm in trouble.
i haven't finished my chemistry yet. =X
it's 1 hour more to subuh,
i guess i'll do it while waiting for subuh. =D

Euphoria is in the air. =D

2008-04-27T22:39:00.003+07:00

alrite, i opened up friendster just now.
2 "new comments".
accepted them and looked at the rest of the comments that i've approved.
and look at what i've found.
-all are not replied-

wth.
ahahahahahahaha.
oh well, sorry to:
Juventa, Tita, Dhita, Wani, Caliz & Liyana for the late replies. =X

anw, yesterday was amazingly UNiQUE.
i went for two completely different wedding receptions with my uncle.
the first was my uncle's old friend's son's wedding and it was very simple: only one type of dish is served & it take place at their residence.

the second was my uncle's boss' daughter and it was very sophisticated: it has 12 different booths serving different types of food & the venue was huge (bigger than Fuchun's school hall. =.=").
i wonder how much is spent just for that one night.
oh well, my uncle's boss' is one of the nation's leading women.
it would just cost nothing to her.

well, i believe most people would prefer to have the second one for their wedding reception.
and their reasons would be like "we only get married once in a lifetime, why wouldn't we just make ourselves feel on top of the world on that day?"
you can say that if you're growing money on trees.

i don't see the need of spending millions of rupiah just for that one day.
what makes a wedding important is just that "Ijab Kabul" (the Pledge).
the rest would be unnecessary.
what is there to enjoy during your wedding?
what's the use of throwing millions of rupiah just to have fun on that day?
instead of throwing a party,
why don't they use the money to buy a house, car or go for pilgrimage which is even more beneficial?
oh well, that's my opinion today.
maybe in 10 years time i'll understand why.

talking abt marriage,
Fiq & Fiqah, when is your turn?
don't forget to invite me, alrite? =P

2008-04-26T01:00:00.003+07:00

Just for Ezah, I'll do this questionaire,
but i won't have anyone to tag to.

Tagged by: Faiezah

1.At what age do you wish to marry?
~26/27, once i'm done with my Specialist. =D

2.How many children do you want?
~3. 2 boys and a girl. =D

3.What do you want the most right now?
~Get into FKUI! =D

4.What do you want to be when you grow up?
~Doctor? Camp Instructor? Psychologist? Ustadz?
i'll just be whatever Allah let me be. after all, it's what best for me.=D

5.If you can have 1 more dream to come true, what would it be?
~Go to Syurga Firdaus.

6.What are you afraid to lose now?
~Simply nothing. what is there to fear in life?

7.Do you believe in being in love forever?
~No. But true love never dies.

8.If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
~If she's hot enough to melt other guys, i'll make her confess to me. =D

9.How strong(in your heart) can you be?
~VERY STRONG though i'm soft-hearted. =D

10.What are the requirements that you wish from other half?
~Memorized Al-Quran from Surah Al-Fatihah till Surah An-Nas & living an Islamic way of life. =)
status, age, colour of skin, attractiveness does not matter to me. =D

11.Which type of person do you hate most?
~i love everyone. =D

12.Do you cherish every single of your friendship?
~tell me, who regrets being my friend?

13.Do you believe in God?
~was this even a question? of course yes!

14.What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
~Parents.

15.Do you find it necessary for you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
~if she's someone who supports me all the way, knows me inside out, willing to stay with me through ups and downs, why not?

16.What do you want your friend to be like?
~UNiQUE in their own way. =D

17.What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friends' eyes?
~Someone who made an impact in their life, someone who is hard to forget.

18.If you have a change, which part of your character would you like to change?
~pessimistic-ness of me.

19.If you're feeling low one day, who will you go to?
~Allah swt, if not i'll just talk to myself. after all, my problems are best to be kept than to be shared. =)

P.S. My Problems can start World War Three

20.What's your dream love story? True Love or Love at first sight?
~I'd prefer Fairytale Love, i can bring that to reality. =)

Instructions: Remove 1 question from above, and add in your personal question to make it a total of 20 questions..Then tag 8 people in your links list them out at the end of the post.Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

*apparently i can't visit other blogs*

2008-04-25T23:32:00.003+07:00

alrite, sorry for the delays.
i've been struggling with the connection just to write a blog.
and the amazing thing is that, i still can't view my own blog.
isn't that "cool"?

anyway, cbox ppl, i apologize.
i promise i'll reply your comments as soon as the connection is stable. =D
sorry for the inconvenience caused by Telkom.

Anyway, i bought a new book today.
It's titled: Dalam Mihrab Cinta.
It's an Islamic novel written by Habiburrahman El Shirazy,
writer of Ayat Ayat Cinta, a novel that could make the reader shed a tear.
if only there's an English version of the novel, i would recommend this novel to everyone. =D

oh well, let's get back to the book.
it's a compilation of three short stories.

the first story was about how a woman in her 30s searched for her life partner and in the end the best man was actually her own student.

the second story was about how someone who had been misjudged as a thief, thrown out from Pesantren ( an Islamic boarding school), and he build his life from scratch.
and it all started when he was about to do some pickpocketing and he ends up getting a job as an Ustadz. from then on he live his life in an Islamic way.

the third story was about a man trying his luck to study in KL with no money & no friends/relatives, only equipped with courage. he met a woman who helped him to survive his first day in KL. little did he know that they'll end up getting married after years.

well, i cut all the story short because i'll get sued for copyright if i write out the whole story here. =P

anyway, i've learned a lot from these stories. everything that has happened is actually a mosaic piece of our life. as we move along, these mosaic pieces will fall nicely and fit in the big picture - our destiny. although our fate had been decided by Allah, we can't just give up and go with the flow. Allah will not change someone unless he/she change him/herself. and you may never know who we're actually fated to be with, it can be someone that you met on the street (3rd story) or maybe someone who's actually close to you but you regard him/her as just friend (1st story). well, whatever actually has happened today, or maybe yesterday, it's just another mosaic piece of your life. you may never know that a lesson learnt today is actually very valuable in the future. =D

2008-04-22T23:07:00.003+07:00

First thing first, Alhamdulillah my stomachache had subsided. =D
it's been torturing me since subuh. =.="
ahahahahahaha.

moving on, it's mum's call.
Well, my mum had this friend called "Mr Abri".
according to her, this "Mr Abri" has a 99.9% chance that his students will pass UMPTN/SPMB.
well it's amazing that the percentage stands at 99.9% (0.0).
if that so, why he's not swarmed with students who's taking both exam?
only Allah knows why.

anyway, my mum is so interested in having me taught under him till she booked a ticket to Banda next week. =.="

i was enraged by this of course.
after a "royal rumble" over the phone, i admit lost and just accept it.
after all, parent's decision are actually Allah's decision.
if that's the best for me, so be it. =D

so, these are my important dates. (someone please remind me in case i've forgotten abt it)
30th April - flight to Banda.
2nd May - Daddy's & Dini's B'day.
18th May - Mummy's B'day.
9th June - Deadline for documents for UGM.
13th June - Data verification @ UGM
14th June - UM KI UGM
2nd July- UMPTN/SPMB
10th July - Nabila's B'day
5th August - Deadline for documents for UI / data verification @ UI.
6th August - UM KI UI.

2008-04-22T00:50:00.000+07:00

Met up with my old-classmates.
well, it wasn't exactly a "reunion" since only 3 ppl showed up: me, tita & auzy. =.="
others had their damn LAME reasons like "i'm sick and tired of going there", "too much homework", had this and that and bla bla bla...
okayy, let's be an optimist.
it's true anw, 10 years of gg to the same SMALL shopping centre will really make you sick and tired of it.
and what's more they're having their promotion exam soon. =X

nevertheless it was fun, though kind of awkward.
auzy & tita still schooling at KI though they're at different stream.
they have something in common to talk to, and i don't. =X
now you see how shy i am. (read this MB0805! =P)

well, we only went for pizza and movies.
i realized that s'pore is the main culprit for the hole in my wallet. =.="
the three of us ordered one large pizza, one jar of ice lime honey tea, and a buffalo wing for only Rp 145000 (SGD 20). whereas, i remembered paying $21.45 for faiezah's birthday. and that was for 3 student's meal. =.="
for the movies it was only Rp 10000/person. (SGD 1.50) and in s'pore it's $6.50 on weekdays.

see the difference?

ahahahahahaha.

anw, tmrw's Liverpool vs Chelsea.
hope chelsea will score an away goal! =D
(they'll be a much easier opponent to be thrashed by man u!)

oh gosh, i have to memorize the ALs of organic chemistry for tmrw. =X

2008-04-18T13:25:00.000+07:00

finally got the connection up. =)

i think Telkom was repairing the connection for three days.
well, what took them so long?
only God & them knows.
anw, thank you. =D

alrite, Mugging Days Strikes Back.
here's my timetable till 9 June & 6 August.
Breakfast - Anatomy.
Lunch - Physiology.
Dinner - Bio.
Midnight snack - Chem.

no wonder I'm a constant 76kg. =P

ahahahahaha.

Start of Something New.

2008-04-14T21:37:00.000+07:00

alrite ppl!
welcome to my new blog. =)
first of all, i would like to thank zaid & o-yan for their help.
w/o them i don't think this blog will be here today. =)

so visitors, do tag & link me,
I'll link you back ASAP. =D